It has been about four months since my last blog post, for which I truly apologize. God has been seeing me through quite a profound season in my life that has left me in awe with so much to be thankful for.
Going into this advent season and relfecting upon the miraculous conception and birth of Jesus, I took a moment to look back at the last few months and where God has led me, my family, and my marriage. Get comfy, because I am about to tell you about it all, and then I'm going to let y'all in on my big secret that's carried me this far.
Our family is growing, again. I won't lie to you, it was not received with the warmest welcome. I went through an incredibly difficult time bonding with our second child and navigating the postpartum hormones —and this was just less than 8 months ago! However, God seemed to speak to my husband during this time of new beginnings and give him all the right things to say to me, to calm me and reassure me that we CAN do this. Because what's more of a challenge than 2 under 2? 3 under 3! And boy do we seem to gravitate towards challenges in our life! (Help us in praying for a girl this time?? We absolutely adore our Lincoln and Noah, but a girl would be a nice addition to this testosterone heavy family haha!)
I had been opening up my Bible more —again, transparency: I'm not the best at it! I certainly do not open it daily like I would like to, but I do try... I have been opening up the Bible more and in no particular order would I read. I usually say a prayer prior to opening the great book, something along the lines of, "Lord, speak to me through your stories." Other times, I'd let my toddler (WITH CLEAN HANDS) pick a page for me. During one of these times, I happened upon the story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. If you are not familiar with it: Jacob loved Rachel and was promised her hand in marriage if he worked 7 years under her father, however her father deceived Jacob and wed him to Rachel's sister Leah. Unenthusiastic about that little treachery, Jacob agreed to work another 7 years in order to actually take Rachel, the one whom his heart truly loved, as his, albeit, second wife. God saw that Leah was unloved and he opened her womb countless times, while while Rachel remained barren for quite some time. Jacob still maintained his love for Rachel while Leah learned to rely on God for her source of love and joy, for God is love and to love is to know God. *Interesting enough, Jacob requested that he be buried next to Leah at the end of his time, not Rachel —how powerful is that??
Now this is speculation on my part and I often joke about it with my husband, "Oh! God saw that you were unhappy and there He went and opened my womb once more!" But if you ask my husband, there is no doubt in his mind that that was exactly what He did, and praise the Lord for that! It's no secret we've had a bumpy start with our own challenges, notably as recently as 6 months ago, but something about the news of this new baby ignited something within my husband.
I believe, and my husband would agreed, God used this new life growing inside my womb to open my husband's eyes to the reality of his situation... Y'all, he has ran towards it at full speed ever since! Fully embracing this gift from God and wholeheartedly stepping into his role of devoted husband and father. His bondages, whatever they were, had finally fallen away and he has been firm and unwavering within this convenant and family with a joyful AND joy-filled heart.
My marriage and my family are thriving!
And it's all because of Him.
As much as I'd like to say I wish things didn't have to fall apart, implode, break, to get to where we are, I can't. As it's shown time and time again throughout the Bible, God has this incredible way of using hopeless situations and imperfect people to demonstrate His love, His mercy, and His power and glory. God is activate within our marriage and family and we are blessed to be seeing it every day. We are forever grateful for His grace and presence.
He never gave up on us, even when we were ready to give up on one another.
Love wins. God is love.
I have never stopped praying. Once I figured it out, I have never stopped having faith and trusting fully in God to sustain me. I learned to give all my cares and all my heart's worries over to God, and He has taken care of me. For the past six months I have been praying that God will one day use our marriage, as hopeless as it had seemed at times, as a testimony of His unconditional, merciful, and steadfast love; that we may one day witness to others how great God's love is for us.
So never lose hope. Pray even if you can't seem to find the words. Trust in the Lord always, and find your joy within Him.
We're members of Whoville y'all!
The Grinch can steal Christmas, but we'll still be singing on Christmas morning.
THAT is what it means to be Christ followers and to know our joy comes from the Lord and Him alone.
Always and forever praying for you dear reader!
My family and I wish you and yours a very blessed Christmas!
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