The sooner you realize it's an attack, the more power you will have.
Do you struggle with anxiety? Maybe even a dash of depression? I do. So much so that it can be crippling at times, and it sure as hell can do damage to relationships.
I'll share with you a bit of my background because I promised you transparency.
My young marriage has been through many stormy seasons, and looking back, boy I must have been doing some powerful rain dances! (*silly reference to my Native American heritage.)
I have been married for a year and a half to my Colton, and we have two precious baby boys together. I am just shy of 3 months postpartum after two back-to-back pregnancies exactly a year apart and I'm not going to lie, postpartum depression sucks. It's not enough to be exhausted and overstimulated and have your hormones literally running amuck, but throw PPD on top and you have yourself a dangerous cocktail there —and that's without adding alcohol to that recipe!
See? Transparency. I hope you weren't expecting this blog to elicit only rainbows and butterflies-type feelings. Oh no, I'm here to be raw and genuine, and it is my sincere hope to witness to you that even complete crazy messes like myself can be redeemable.
Now back to the story, more times than I am capable of keeping count, I have allowed myself to blindly fall victim to the devil's lies. Lies that ultimately fed into my insecurities and anxieties within my marriage with Colton. As I started believing these lies that, "I'm not good enough", "I'm unlovable", and "I am unwanted", I started seeing my spouse as the enemy —that and depression and rational thoughts rarely coexist anyways. Simple circumstances would have a cruel way of getting turned into some of the nastiest arguments, resulting in bitterness, resentment, tears, rage, you name it! All because I was blind to what was really happening. The devil was, is, and will always continue to attack —Satan HATES marriage.
Colton and I were blessed with the opportunity to go on a marriage retreat called Weekend to Remember by FamilyLife recently, and y'all, what a God-send it was for our marriage! Literally. There is no doubt in our hearts that the timing and circumstances surrounding this retreat were anything but divine —I mean, we arrived to the retreat with the word "separation" looming like a heavy dark cloud over us, and we departed with that word having been OBLITERATED from our vocabulary. However, shortly after returning to reality, the attacks started coming. There were comments made from outside of our marriage that caused the insecurities and anxieties to come flooding back, and even though Colton reassured me, I feared for our marriage once more. I started to spiral.
I wept, and not gracefully either. WHY?! I just could not understand how we could experience such a monumental turning point in our marriage just to have it start to crumble only days later. So in my distress, I prayed, and He answered me. Jonah 2:2
Satan wanted my focus to be on what others were thinking, instead of the beautifully renewed hope for my marriage. And y'all, I was playing right into his hands and on that familiar path of self-sabotage until I realized THIS was an attack.
I have said it before and I promise you I will say it again. The devil seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. He is known as the Father of Lies [John 8:44]. My hope is that in repeating this throughout blog posts that it starts to stick like an obnoxious song you cannot seem to get off your mind because it is then that you'll be able to see the attacks for what they are and you will have power over them. And you, my dear friend, will laugh.
It is then that you'll be able to see the attacks for what they are and you will have power over them. And you, my dear friend, will laugh.
*Proverbs 31:25
It has been only a few days now since my revelation, but by His Grace I have been able to see the attacks for what they are and stop them. THAT is pretty empowering! God. Is. So. Good.
Lord, help me to put my trust in you and be able to see the attacks for what they are. I pray for the power, strength, wisdom, and discernment to see through the lies, wickedness, and snares of the devil. And please bless my marriage to be that of an everlasting one, with you lovingly at the center.
In your glorious name I pray,
Amen.
Comments