Given the choice, would you prefer to know it's coming, or be taken by surprise?
My grandfather is dying. He's been dying, cancer is cruel like that. And technically, we're all dying, are we not?
We were promised our days here on this earth were numbered from the day we entered our mother's womb.
My grandfather is dying, his time is coming to an end, and today I find myself rather caught up in the thick of the emotions. He must be thinking, "This is probably the last time I'll ride over these old railroad tracks and cruise down mainstreet, or the last time to ride in a vehicle even." Or he may look back at recent photos and mourn his beloved pontoon, wishing his last boat ride hasn't been his last, but that there were more to have. If he isn't thinking those things, I certainly am for him.
I think I'd rather be taken by surprise. I believe there is cruelty that surrounds the wait. Far too many, "I wish I would've's" left out there.
I wish I could've had one last ice cream run with him to the local ice cream joint.
When I last spoke to him face to face, I gave him a hug goodbye, I told him that I loved him, and I promised him that I'd see him again soon. Whether he had heard that last part, I do not know, as my voice had cracked and I'm sure it came out more of a whisper as I willed myself to maintain my composure.
I guess I've been pretty blessed that for 26 years of my life, I've never had to deliberately pray and ask for God to welcome someone that I love peacefully and gently and painlessly into His embrace. Not someone still living. Maybe it is cowardly of me, but when praying tonight with my husband, I couldn't even say the words out loud, as if saying it out loud would've solidified his future.
Habitually, this would be the part I bring the Bible into reference, to offer hope and comfort, but no Bible verses today. However, perhaps the following can provide comfort to those in similar situations:
We were not meant to be friends of this world, nor were we ever meant to remain here. Our home and final destination, is in heaven, and there are arms opened wide, ready to welcome us.
I will myself to take peace in that.
Look at it this way... Being taken by surprise only prevents you from suffering the waiting game and what ifs looping in your mind... But it does so much more to those left behind who didn't get to give that big hug and muster the strength to say that I love you and good bye... And the absence of those last words will haunt the ones you love the rest of their days... So for me personally I think I'd want to know so that a way I'd make sure to tell each and every single person in my life what they mean to me and embrace that bitter sweet smile and tears that come along with taking that maybe…